Koukám Kitti přes rameno a ze stránek časopisu, kterým listuje, se dozvídám, že jsem zase sakra módní. S každou další přečtenou řádkou narůstá hodnota mojí kostkované košile. Musím se pro sebe usmát. Když jsem si ji na začátku října zkoušela v newyorské pobočce hadrárny American Eagle, tvářil se na mě afroamerický prodavač jménem Terrell všelijak. Ach ta Evropa! Doporučil mi košili vyhrnout rukávy a něčím ji vzadu sepnout. Poslechla jsem. Odhalená předloktí super, pod knoflíky se rýsující fastfoodem vykrmené břicho už míň. Rezignovaně jsem košili rozepnula a škodolibě šla popatřit do kabinky na svého devatenáctiletého bráchu. Oblečení, jež mu v dobré víře nanosila mamka, viselo na jeho vyhublém těle jako starý baloňák na strašáku v zelí. Nevím, co módního experta Terrella mučilo víc, jestli já arogantně narvaná v pánské košili (A stejně si ji koupím! Už jenom pro ty vzpomínky…) nebo můj rachitický bratr ve velikosti L. S typickou americkou upřímností pravil: „Já teda nevím jak VY V EVROPĚ, ale tady v Americe nosí plandavý oblečení akorát děti. A ty přece už nejsi dítě!“ Brácha duchaplně pokrčil rameny. „Proč si nezkusíš menší velikost? Máš přece krásně štíhlou postavu, to nemusíš schovávat.“ Načež Terrell zmizel a vrátil se s parádním outfitem z džín, perfektně padnoucího trika a mikiny s kapucou, přes které si bratr navlékl teplou černou vestu a při pohledu do zrcadla se po počátečním šoku na jeho tváři usadil výraz „teď je ze mě kurva borec“. Ve snaze obhájit se nemilosrdnému módnímu soudci Terrellovi, začaly jsme s mamkou vysvětlovat, že sehnat triko velikost S, které by bráchovi nekončilo nad pupíkem, je v Čechách fakt kumšt, a podivovaly jsme se, jak je možný, že americká trika jsou delší. Koukal na nás shovívavě a na závěr podotkl: „No dobře, ale kdyby přijel domů v tom, co jste mu vybrali vy a pak řekl, že si to koupil v Americe – to by byla strašná ostuda!“ Poklesla mi čelist. Ještě vrhnul pohled na mou budoucí košili a se zjevným přemáháním pravil: „Dobrý?“ Vzedmula se ve mně vlna hrdosti. „Výborný. Tu košili si vezmu!“ Jak by taky newyorský prodavač mohl pochopit, co pro mě po třech měsících strávených v jihoamerickém Arkansasu, který zbytek Ameriky považuje za příšerný vidlákov, znamená taková červenomodrá kostkovaná košile.
8/03/2011
The Green Monster
I have a serious problem with the plant from my fishtank. That thing is getting bigger every minute. It's spread its leaves all over the tank and as there's not much space left, its new leaves are growing out of the water! How is that even possible? And why don't fish eat it? Do I feed them too much? Should I not feed them for a day or two and my problem will be solved?
Seriously, I feel like one day I'm gonna wake up with that thing wrapped around my neck... or maybe not wake up at all. Eaten by the plant, this could be the name of some stupid sci-fi movie. Or at least I hope it's just a sci-fi.
I think this case needs a harsh solution. I'll need to cut some of the leaves. Hopefully it will help the plant, not kill it. I'd prefer both of us surviving, but... honestly, if you had to make that decision, you wouldn't pick the plant over yourself, would you? (Did I hear someone saying "YES I would"? Awesome! I've got a tiny little green present for you, then!)
Quite remarkable progress, right?
What's the most fascinating fact for me? That despite the fact of NOT having enough space to do this, OBVIOUSLY, the plant continues growing like a crazy. Same for the fish. Despite being aware of the fact that the tank is too small even for just one or two of them, they'd continue reproducing happily, until there's more fish than water inside. Or maybe, I am actually being a witness of the evolution, happening just in my room, at my table, to be more precise! The plant is evolving, moving out of the water towards the earth! How long before my fish evolve too and join it? I can't wait to see their little primitive legs and see the process of getting rid of their gills and growing some brand new lungs! Oh, I knew I should have studied biology, dammit. As a screenwriting major, all I can do is watch and write... well I'd probably not be doing much more as a biologist...
But anyways.
I am a horrible fishtank owner.
Obviously.
I should have stick to the facebook's Happy Aquarium. Oh well, speaking of that - have you ever seen the REAL kissing fish?
Yep. Its not pink, sorry. Also, the level of their degeneration pretty much disables them - they can't close (shut) their mouths. Kissing is one of the few activities that do not make them look stupid. Their normal face expression is constatn wondering. Considering the fact they're stuck in the craziest Prague's shopping centre... no wonder.
Seriously, I feel like one day I'm gonna wake up with that thing wrapped around my neck... or maybe not wake up at all. Eaten by the plant, this could be the name of some stupid sci-fi movie. Or at least I hope it's just a sci-fi.
I think this case needs a harsh solution. I'll need to cut some of the leaves. Hopefully it will help the plant, not kill it. I'd prefer both of us surviving, but... honestly, if you had to make that decision, you wouldn't pick the plant over yourself, would you? (Did I hear someone saying "YES I would"? Awesome! I've got a tiny little green present for you, then!)
June 09 2011
June 29 2011
August 03 2011
Quite remarkable progress, right?
What's the most fascinating fact for me? That despite the fact of NOT having enough space to do this, OBVIOUSLY, the plant continues growing like a crazy. Same for the fish. Despite being aware of the fact that the tank is too small even for just one or two of them, they'd continue reproducing happily, until there's more fish than water inside. Or maybe, I am actually being a witness of the evolution, happening just in my room, at my table, to be more precise! The plant is evolving, moving out of the water towards the earth! How long before my fish evolve too and join it? I can't wait to see their little primitive legs and see the process of getting rid of their gills and growing some brand new lungs! Oh, I knew I should have studied biology, dammit. As a screenwriting major, all I can do is watch and write... well I'd probably not be doing much more as a biologist...
But anyways.
I am a horrible fishtank owner.
Obviously.
I should have stick to the facebook's Happy Aquarium. Oh well, speaking of that - have you ever seen the REAL kissing fish?
Yep. Its not pink, sorry. Also, the level of their degeneration pretty much disables them - they can't close (shut) their mouths. Kissing is one of the few activities that do not make them look stupid. Their normal face expression is constatn wondering. Considering the fact they're stuck in the craziest Prague's shopping centre... no wonder.
8/02/2011
So You Think You Can Watch Fox TV Overseas?
There's eight season of So You Think You Can Dance going on. Its my favorite show, the only one I was really watching while staying in US. I went on the official webpage of the Fox Broadcasting Company. And here's the message I got when clicking on their video: THE VIDEO YOU ARE TRYING TO WATCH CANNOT BE VIEWED FROM YOUR CURRENT COUNTRY OR LOCATION.
See for yourself!
I'd like to know, why can't I watch this show from the Czech Republic? As far as I know, our countries are allies, aren't they? Our government agreed to have an American rocket base in our woods some time ago. The whole agreement ended up being pretty awkward for both sides. Current American President Barack Obama said US is not going to build the base and all that's left is a Czech documentary movie called Czech Peace, which I highly recommend for all of you to watch, no matter where do you come from. BUT, speaking of unfulfilled governmental agreements, this is not my problem, right? I see absolutely no reason for not letting me watch my show!!!
See for yourself!
I'd like to know, why can't I watch this show from the Czech Republic? As far as I know, our countries are allies, aren't they? Our government agreed to have an American rocket base in our woods some time ago. The whole agreement ended up being pretty awkward for both sides. Current American President Barack Obama said US is not going to build the base and all that's left is a Czech documentary movie called Czech Peace, which I highly recommend for all of you to watch, no matter where do you come from. BUT, speaking of unfulfilled governmental agreements, this is not my problem, right? I see absolutely no reason for not letting me watch my show!!!
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